Monday, March 17, 2008 ; 11:51 PM {♥}
what have i ever done to show you that i never ever regard you as my mum?
since i stepped home last night, i've never said anything that you might find unpleasant or i have not done anything that you might find displeasing. so what is it? can someone just crack my head open and put answers into it!?
just because you are in a foul mood, you come and vent your anger on me. you think it's fair? im a teenager!! i repeat, IM A TEENAGER. im not a small kid anymore. you cannot keep using the same methods to make me listen, to make me your good girl. it's not gonna work!
i just feel so insignificant at home. and the person whom i thought understood me most, could listen to me, could be the one that would be there for me, would be more than willing to comfort and lend me that pair of listening ears, but i finally see how insignificant i can be.
the only person who i know who values me, cares for me, finds me significant, loves me WITHOUT condition - unconditionally - is God. people might tell you: "hey, you are special to me. you mean so much to me." but ultimately, do they really mean it? do they really live out what they say? is it just words that they say to make you happy? or do they say what they mean&mean what they say?
im just so disappointed.
is it gonna be like this all the time? i've had enough. i've really had enough.
although i dont really show out how hurt, how depressed, how sad i am, it doesn't mean im okay. i just choose to be brave, comforting myself, telling myself that things will be better. but as i say that each time, i wonder why, i dont have that much faith as before. when i don't voice it out, it doesn't mean my view is the same as yours. i just choose not to let you be upset and i choose to just keep quiet .
when is this gonna end?
O God, i just want to surrender. ):
Blogged With Love, Yours Truly {♥}
